


Hidden Inside the Jewelled Cup

by natsora



Series: Trials of Ryder [8]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Intubation, Major Character Injury, Medical Inaccuracies, Medical Procedures, Poison, Post-Canon, Vomiting, Whump, medical whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:35:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22267246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natsora/pseuds/natsora
Summary: A return to Kadara turns sour for Ryder as she wraps herself around the toilet bowl throwing up her guts. It's just something she ate right? Oh fuck, that's blood.
Relationships: Jaal Ama Darav/Female Ryder | Sara
Series: Trials of Ryder [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/792867
Comments: 6
Kudos: 39





	Hidden Inside the Jewelled Cup

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while since I wrote anything for Sara and Jaal but it seemed they are never safe with me around. :X
> 
> _Bad Things Happen prompt fill for Vomiting._

Ryder grinned as they piled out of the Nomad. “Remind me to never let you drive again,” Nafav complained, his complexion decidedly ashen. 

Falehe groaned, “Yes, please. How did you get certified to drive this vehicle.”

Torshen grunted, pressing a hand against his mouth, looking decidedly ashen. 

Jaal frowned. “I don’t know what are you guys complaining about, this is one of the best drives she ever had. She didn’t launch the Nomad off a cliff while we’re in it, she didn’t crash it into an eiroch trying to kill it. This is one of the most relaxing ride I’ve been on with Ryder.”

That’s when she snorted, “I’ve not seen you in three months and this is what you say about my driving?” She punched Jaal in his arm. 

He staggered back exaggeratedly and laughed. “Ouch.”

“Ugh,” the disgusted sound came from Torshen as he shouldered his pack. “The mission is complete. I’m going to head back and write my report.”

Falehe rolled her eyes and whispered, “He’s not that bad, you know. He brought some special cakes for us when he took some personal time to return to his home daar a couple of weeks ago.”

Ryder chuckled, watching Torshen’s broad back disappeared towards Kadara port. It felt like so long ago when they were all struggling through the Heskaarl training. She lifted her prothesis arm and touched the Heskaarl emblem imprinted on her armour. Wearing armour, nobody could tell her left arm wasn’t real from the elbow down, but everyone here knew that. They had seen her at her best and worst. 

Nafav nudged his colleague and friend, “Come on, Falehe. Let’s leave the lovebirds alone.”

Ryder rolled her eyes but appreciated the gesture as the other two Heskaarl followed Torshen. Jaal chuckled at her reaction, stepping close. 

Standing outside the port, with the Nomad, her eyes caught the setting sun of Kadara. The light bathed the sand and dunes all a fiery yellow and orange light. In the distance, she could hear the purr of hover bikes racing around the track and the excited shrieks of the gathering crowd for the monthly race. 

She sighed. 

“You’ve missed it, haven’t you?”

“It’s that obvious huh?”

Jaal put a hand on her shoulder and tugged her close. She allowed her body to fall against him. Despite the thick armour they both wore, she took comfort with his nearness. “But I’ve missed you more,” she whispered. 

He bent and brushed her sweaty hair from her face and pressed his lips against her forehead. 

“I’m all sweaty,” she pointed out but she didn’t pull away. Despite exchanging mails and vid-calls whenever they could, physical contact was irreplaceable. 

She was the Pathfinder, he was part of the Angara Nations’ elite forces. They both led dangerous lives, seeing combat on a regular basis. This joint Pathfinder and Heskaarl mission felt more like a reunion of sorts. And truthfully, it didn’t need a squad of Heskaarl to deal with it. “Do you took Evfra took pity on us?” she asked. 

Jaal snorted. “This mission was a pity mission?”

Ryder remembered wading through adhi filled caves to reach the roekaar hideout earlier. She hummed, “Maybe not.”

The second Nomad was rolling up. That meant they’ve got to get back to work. Cora was leading the Tempest crew, freeing her up to join the other Heskaarl. Her sister-in-law could be very understanding at times like these. 

“Ryder, are you there?” Cora’s voice came through the comms. 

“Ryder here, hearing you loud and clear.”

“Can I have Torshen’s comm address?” came Peebee’s excited voice. 

Ryder laughed. “Torshen’s taken you know.”

“What about Nafav?”

“Don’t bother about Peebee. You know how she is,” Cora interjected, Peebee’s protests could still be heard in the background. “Anyway, Scott said he had talked to Umi. She’s cool with everyone coming down later. Says you should go be the bouncer for the bar tonight.”

Ryder snorted. “All right. I’m leaving the Nomad here so one of you can grab it on your way back to the Tempest. I have someone to visit. I’ll meet you all at Umi’s.”

“Is Nafav coming later?” Peebee asked as the comm connection was cut. 

Jaal laughed. “Since when Peebee is all over angaras?”

“Seriously, I have no idea,” she said as she tugged on Jaal’s arm. They walked into the Port. 

Ryder knew where she wanted to go. Her feet took her there unerringly. These were familiar paths. She nodded a subtle greeting to various people she made friends with during her almost year long stay after her life was turned upside down. It wasn’t a great time in her life but she was glad to have met everyone she did. 

The workshop’s shutters were closed but light still streamed from underneath. Ryder stepped up to the door and hit the holo-lock, she knew it’ll ping the person inside. Her heart leapt when she heard a scrambling of claws against the inside of the shutters. Joyful barks rang out. She couldn’t help the smile stretching her lips. Jaal placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. 

“Go away, we’re close,” a nasally voice came through the comms. And in a softer voice as the voice turned away from the mic, “What’s gotten into you, Kiba?”

Jaal waited, amusement rolling off him in waves. She sighed. “It’s me, Ryder.”

There was no answer, but the holo-lock flickered to a welcoming green. The barks got louder when the door slid open. A flash of white fur slammed into her, tipping her back. If Jaal hadn’t been standing behind her, anticipating this, she would have fall. A wet tongue covered every inch of her face and she giggled. “I’m happy to see you to, Kiba,” she laughed. 

The mix of yelps and whining came from the white husky. The dog was scolding her, asking her what took her so long to visit. Ryder tugged off her gloves and tossed it to the ground. She couched down and ran her fingers, both flesh and metal through Kiba’s fur. “I know, I know. I’m sorry it took so long. But the Nexus has been keeping me busy with Vault Alpha.”

She grimaced as the thought reminded her of the searing headache she got every time she worked there. Jaal didn’t see it because she buried the twist of her lips into Kiba’s white ruff. Kiba booped Ryder’s nose with her wet one as a final admonishment for her shortcomings as Kiba’s person before turning back towards the door. Claws clicking against the prefab floor, she trotted off inside before turning back to look as if asking what were they waiting for. 

Stepping back into the workshop was like going back in time, returning to a simpler time, all she had to care about was herself, how to feed herself, how to keep everyone else safe from her. 

“That looks like a lost cause,” Ryder remarked, glancing at the wreck of a hover bike on the rack. 

“Says the one who trashes bikes,” the salarian said. She was holding a wrench working on said wreck. She dropped the tool into an opened toolbox. “And not the one fixing them.”

“It’s good to see you, Wrench,” Ryder greeted. 

Brushing her hands against her overalls, Wrench offered up a hand. But Ryder pulled on her hand and tugged her into a hug. Wrench sighed, “I’m covered in motor oil, you know.”

“I’ll match your motor oil and up you on adhi guts.”

The salarian snorted in digust but tightened her arms around Ryder’s torso. “It’s good to see you. I’ll be sending you an invoice, your dog here—” an offended bark interrupted. “—eats so damn fucking much.”

And Jaal laughed as Kiba retreated into the corner where there was a small pile of blankets and sulked. A pair of golden eyes glaring at them. 

“Make yourself at home, I’m going to clean up for a bit,” Wrench said and retreated to the back. 

Ryder settled herself onto the sofa while Jaal sat down beside her. He was fishing for something in his webbing. Kiba sat up, her nose twitching. She smiled as Kiba darted towards them, squeezing between the coffee table that sat between the two sofas and their legs. She lay her head on Jaal’s thigh. Her golden eyes was darting between his hand and his face. 

Ryder laughed. They chatted when Wrench returned, she caught up on how things were shaking out on Kadara after the word that Outcasts could apply for reentry to the Nexus went out. And Wrench asked after Dex’s progress at the new academy they had put together on the Nexus. But eventually Ryder’s omni-tool beeped. She answered to hear loud music and uproarious laughter blowing out her omni-tool’s speakers. 

“You’re missing the party!” Vetra shouted over the din. “Drack has threatened to start a bar fight without you.”

Ryder groaned, squeezing the bridge of her nose. “All right, all right. I’m coming,” she said. Turning to Wrench, she cocked a questioning eyebrow. And the salarian shrugged. 

* * *

By the time Ryder got there, the party was in full swing. Peebee was showing off her biotics by transporting freshly refilled pints from the bar to the table without even getting up from her seat. Drack was holding a bottle clearly sized for a krogan’s hand and drinking straight from it. 

Cora and Scott were conspicuously missing. “Where’s the adult supervision?” she growled at nobody in particular. 

Jaal stuck close to her side, unwilling to spend more than a couple of seconds apart before they had to. That, plus he has a distaste for Kadara no matter how she tried to convince him it wasn’t that bad. 

“That’s you,” Vetra said as she took a deep draw from her pint. “Not me, nope, not me. Not after the adhi guts I had to wade through today.”

“Where’s Lexi?””

“Safely on the Tempest with Cora and Scott, who apparently think they need to be watching the Tempest along with Kallo.”

“Wonderful, what a great brother I have,” Ryder said. 

“I know right? Siblings, overrated,” Vetra snorted and drifted back towards the table, calling out to Peebee for a fresh refill. 

Gil and Suvi were concentrating on a poker game between them thankfully, so they were not actively trying to bring the wrath of Umi down on her. Liam was conversing with one of Sloane’s people, she caught bits of conversation as she pushed past them. “Did you know all you’ll need to apply for residency on Meridian is a full year of service at one of the outpost?” It’s like Liam was trying to spread gospel or something. But the Outcast looked interested and as long as no fight broke out, she’s good. 

Ryder turned to Jaal and asked, “Do you want anything to drink?”

Jaal grimaced and shrugged. “Yeah, whatever you think is good.”

Getting through the crowd to the bar was a nightmare, since it was more crowded than usual. Umi was glaring at her as she approached. “How much?”

“5250 credits and counting,” Umi replied as her eyes tracked a fresh refill drifting its way over to Vetra’s hand via Peebee’s biotics. “Make that 5700 credits and counting.”

Ryder sighed. “At least they didn’t break anything.”

It was like Peebee was doing this to spite her. The glass of dextro beer shattered on the floor. She gave an even bigger sigh. “Just add to the tab. Give me one of your best angara wine.”

Umi chuckled and turned towards the back. A bottle slid over, scraping against the bar. “You’ll want this.”

“This isn’t wine though.”

“It’s better than angara wine. One of the angaras is working on making a new ale, using a mix of human ingredients and Andromeda’s. I think he’ll like it,” she jerked her chin towards Jaal. “What about you, Ryder?”

“Water, or house soda.”

Umi rolled her eyes. “You insult my establishment, Pathfinder.”

“Or I could drink some fruit juice?”

The asari bartender sighed and handed over a glass of iced water. 

* * *

Jaal’s arm was heavy over her shoulder, she rubbed her finger over his knuckles. It was still a little odd to touch him with her prothesis. There was sensations running up it just like a real arm but it wasn’t quite the same. But it didn’t bother him, judging by the hum travelling up his chest. The party was still going strong despite running into its third hour. She stifled a yawn. “What time do you need to head out tomorrow?”

“Too soon,” he sighed. “Though I have some leave stocked up.”

It was her turn to groan. “I’m supposed to head by the Meridian again. Those damn scientists can’t figure out why I’m the only one able to activate the things inside Vault Alpha. They’re asking for more tests.” And she truly wasn’t relishing going back to it. She always came away with an intense migraine that not even SAM with all his ability to manipulate her physiology could put a dent in. 

“Maybe I can join you there?”

“Only if you want to be holed up with me walking around a vault all day.”

Jaal chuckled as Kiba trotted over with a bone bigger than her mouth could hold. “Where the fuck did you get that?” Ryder asked. 

Kiba ignored her and settled down to crunch on it. 

“They’re eating erioch here?” Jaal asked, spluttering in disbelief. 

Drack roared with laughter, the sound rocking the entire bar. Just then, Umi slid a pint towards her. “Ryder, you’ve got fans,” she nodded at a turian sitting in a corner. “He sent you a pint.”

Ryder hid her grimace. Her taste for alcohol and all mind altering beverages had gone out the window after the whole thing with the Cetus chip. Still, it wouldn’t do to offend someone over a pint. She took a sip and Jaal handled the rest. “This is surprisingly good,” he commented. 

The party was winding down. Even Peebee was slumped over the table. Vetra was peeling her off and guiding her towards the door. “I’ll get her back safely. You deal with Drack.”

The krogan was still demanding for more alcohol, complaining about how they all tasted inferior to _actual_ ryncol. Ryder groaned and glanced at Jaal. He looked flushed from all the pints sent her way by the other patrons. Ok, she wouldn’t be getting help there. 

Just as she was about to go over to Drack, an asari sidled up to her with a pint in her hand. It looked a little different from the ones Umi had handed to her earlier. Though she had to admit that Umi used a variety of different glasses and cups, she couldn’t possibly know all of them. 

“As thanks for all your hard work,” the asari said with a grin. 

Ryder took the pint and sipped it. It tasted off but nothing too extreme. 

The asari frowned. “Just a sip, this is moonshine we’ve made here on Kadara, first of its kind. I had hoped you’ll like it.”

Ryder glanced around and saw Umi’s frown furrowing her brow and an aura of biotics gathering. She jerked her attention back to the asari. “Oh sorry, I was just distracted. It tasted pretty good,” she lied as she drained it. “Thank you for the drink. I appreciate it.”

She coughed and cleared her throat uncomfortably. She must have been so unused to alcohol now that just a little was irritating her throat. “I’ve got to go handle a situation, but thank you.”

The asari grinned. “No, _thank you_ , Pathfinder.”

It took a little bit of work, she pried Drack from the bar and got him to help Jaal back to the Tempest. He was in no shape to go back to the Hesskaarl assigned shuttle. She’d radio Nafav or one of the others to let them know. 

Drack tipped Jaal onto the bed. He flopped down face first, snoring lightly even as his face was pressed against the mattress. “You got him?” he asked scratching at his chin, his voice rougher than usual. 

Ryder waved Drack off, “Yeah, you can head to bed.”

“Bed?” he snorted. “I’m headed for another party. Kid, actually you’re no kid, you’re just elderly now if you can barely keep up with a 1000 year old krogan.”

She laughed only to stop because her throat felt wrong, and it turned to coughing. Drack sighed and shook his head before heading out of her quarters. Grabbing the bottle of water she kept on her desk and drained it. Her throat felt scraped raw and painful. 

“SAM, am I coming down with something?” she croaked as she cleared her throat. “Never mind it’s just rhetorical.”

“Actually, Ryder. I’m detecting—”

Jaal groaned and snorted. “One sec, SAM,” she said as she struggled to turn him onto his back. “Fuck you’re heavy, Jaal,” she groaned and it turned into another coughing fit. 

Her gut was churning now, but she managed to get Jaal onto his back. She tugged off his leather armour but left his pants on. He could strip it off if he woke up. Kneeling, she worked his boots free and they joined his leather armour on the floor. 

Rubbing at her neck, she swallowed saliva, hoping to ease it, but her gut tightened painfully throwing that idea out of the window. Pressing a hand against her middle, she hurried towards the toilet. Stumbling through the Tempest with one eye squeeze shut, she barely made it there in time as she felt bile and half digested food rushing up her gut, scraping through her throat, out of her mouth and into the toilet bowl. Over and over, her stomach clenched and unclenched as she threw up. The intensity of it scared her, but she was too busy trying not to make a mess to pay any attention. Arms wrapped around the bowl, she couldn’t say how long she spent emptying her stomach. There was nothing coming up for ages but still her stomach tightened painfully. Her eyes half lidded as she rested her forehead against the cold rim. It was disgusting but she didn’t care. 

Vaguely, she was aware the door had swished opened and SAM’s voice echoed somewhere far away. Her heart was throbbing in her ears, her pulse pounded a little too quick, her breath a little too shallow. But that’s just from all the work she had done vomiting right? 

“Ryder? Ryder? Can you hear me?” someone asked. 

She peeled her eyes open and groaned when a light stabbed into her eyes, one then the other. She jerked her head away. “What are you doing?” Her voice came out slurred. 

“How much did you drink?” Cora asked. 

“Not much, sips,” she groaned. 

“Kid, you’re just a light weight.” Strong arms lifted her up to her feet. Her knees refused to lock, but Drack had no problems holding her weight. 

“Fuck, there’s blood, get her to the the med-bay now,” Lexi barked. 

“I don’t know what I ate,” she confessed, opening her watering eyes to a blurry image. Her breath was wheezing in and out her lungs now and her heart felt like it was about to leap through her chest. “I don’t feel too good.”

“No shit, Ryder,” Cora remarked. “I’m going to go wake Jaal.”

“What?” Ryder struggled to rise as Drack lay her on one of the beds in the med-bay. “No, let him sleep. This is just some bug or bad food.”

“Kid, listen to the doc,” Drack rumbled, pushing her back onto the bed. 

She was surprised how weak she felt. Orange light swept over her, stabbing her eyes, she squeezed them shut with a groan. 

“SAM what do you detect?” Lexi asked, her eyes stared at the readout intently. 

Ryder curled onto her side, arms wrapped around her middle. The cramps were subsiding, but it was getting harder and harder to breath. Coughing fits took over. Pressing her hand against her mouth, she tasted iron. Pulling her hand away to see it coated in red was alarming. “Fuck.”

“Rapid pulse, decreased lung capacity, low blood pressure. Her throat is swelling up,” SAM rattled off. Each symptom sounded worse than the last. “I’ll suggest we intubate before we lose the ability to.”

“What?” Ryder moved to protest, only to be find it near impossible to breathe. Fingers gripping the side of the bed as she forced her lungs to expand, her chest to move, but she was getting no air. 

The doors burst opened and Jaal stumbled in dressed only in his pants. Whatever grogginess waking up abruptly he might have felt was not showing. Fear had tightened his face, furrowing his brow as he rushed to her side. “What’s happening? Help her!”

Ryder’s hand found Jaal’s and she latched onto it. It was something solid, something that would never budged that she could hang on to. Fingernails digging into Jaal’s flesh, his face swam in and out of her darkening vision. Her mouth flopped open and close to no avail. The desperate gasp for air filled her ears. It was her lungs working double duty, heaving and dragging air into her lungs that refused to fill. 

Lexi jumped into action. Drack shifted out of the way to give her space to work. The bed was adjusted so that Ryder lay flat on her back. Jaal hovered close, whispering words she could no longer hear as her heart beat filled her ears. 

“It’s going to be uncomfortable, but I can’t wait for the sedative to work. I’m going to intubate you now, Ryder,” Lexi said. 

Ryder nodded desperately. As much as she hated to be in the med-bay, the smell of antiseptic sometimes triggering flashbacks or a panic attack, dying was infinitely worse. 

“Hold her down if she struggles,” the instruction was issued to both Drack and Jaal. “Cora get the biotic suppressants! It’s in the drawer there.”

They shifted to take their spots. Strong and large hands wrapped themselves over her wrists and ankles. The old fear surged like a raising tide threatening to drown her. Tears well up and panic made breathing even harder. She struggled, her mind screaming at her, insisting she’d die if she didn’t get away. But she was no match against the combined weight of Jaal and Drack. Through it all, the source of calm that resided in her core, trained from the time she spent with the angaras at Mithrava stood like a flickering flame against the storm of terror. It was taking all her effort not to unleash her biotics. 

Lexi put her fingers under Ryder’s chin and tugged her head upwards. A firm push against her chin and her mouth fell opened. Some hard and stiff was wedged into her mouth. Her tongue was pinned under it, opening up her throat for access. But blood that she was holding in dribbled out of her mouth. 

Lexi’s brow tightened, she was too much of a professional to curse out loud. She shoved a clear plastic tube into Ryder’s mouth. 

Ryder could trace the length of the tube by the way blood stained the insides. As she tried to yank her limbs freebly, a groan erupted from her throat. Jaal’s grip on her hands tightened. “Please help her,” he begged. “She’s turning blue!”

Lexi pulled the tube free only to introduce a thicker, harder, longer one. And she bucked harder than she ever did. Her control was fraying and biotics prickled up across her skin. 

“Hold her down!” Lexi barked. Turning to Cora, she yelled, “Put it into her thigh now!”

As the tube was snaked down her trachea, scraping the insides burnt raw by bile and who knew what, Ryder cried out. A syringe stabbed into her thigh through her pants. The suppressant was administered in a flush of drugs into her body, her biotics faded and died. Lexi situated the tube properly and inflated the balloon inside to hold it in place. It was quickly hooked up to the ventilator. 

Air came through the tube, reaching her lungs. Lexi bustled away to gather more supplies as Jaal came up to her side. A finger brushed away the tears that had spilled. “Shhh, shh… just let the machine do the work, you don’t have to fight it,” he whispered. 

His bio-electricity was erratic and tight as he tried to keep his emotions to himself. Her hand rose to try and tug at the tube, she always had trouble with being intubated. And now after everything, it only brought back the worst of memories. 

“I’m here, just relax, all right?” Jaal guided her arm down. 

In that split second, she was angry and scared. Pulling at her core to find nothing there made her lashed out harder. Head jerking, she moaned, a sound so pitiful, Jaal was blinking away tears. 

Lexi returned. A sharp crinkling came from her side as plastic packaging was torn off, a sharp prick on her arm made her flinch. Ryder protested wordlessly, still fighting Jaal’s hold on her wrists. Lexi hung a bag onto a hook over her head. Eyes a little wild, a little afraid darted between Jaal’s and Lexi’s faces. Both pair of eyes looked down on her with concern. She caught the look they exchanged but with a tube down her throat, there was no way she could voice her questions. She barely could calm herself, riding on the keen edge of a full blown panic attack.

Instead, Lexi turned her attention to Ryder. “I’m sedating you and administering some drugs to bolster your lung capacity and blood pressure. I know how hard this is for you. So it’s better you ride out the worst of it while we figure this out,” she said, patting Ryder’s arm. “SAM please monitor her, I’m going to draw some blood to do some blood work. The scans weren’t looking good.”

As the drugs coursed through her veins, Jaal remained firmly by her side as her eyes slowly sagged shut. 

* * *

Awareness returned slowly. It’s a heavy blanket forced over her mind, muting all thoughts and sensations, keeping fear and panic at bay. Eyes blinking as she tested her ankles and wrists. They were free, she heaved an internal sigh of relief, realising she was still intubated. That was not a good sign. Fingers clenched and fisted against the sheets. 

“Ryder,” Jaal called, shifting into view because he felt her move. “I’m here.”

The heart rate monitor she was hooked up to beep as her pulse climbed. 

“It’s ok, I’m here. You’re safe.”

It took effort and Jaal knew why. Bit by bit, she forced the fear back through hard worn practise. Eyes squeezed shut, she kept her grip on Jaal’s hand as he sent waves of calming energy through the contact they maintained. Inch by painful inch, she won free of its grasp. And she relaxed enough to sink into a drug aided sleep.

When Ryder next opened her eyes, she found Jaal’s blue ones looking at her. Relief was written clear across his face. How many times had they been here? Her at death’s door, him unable to do anything but watch. Each time death came through to claw at her, Jaal held her ever tighter. It never got easier no matter how many times they were here. 

“I’ll go get Lexi.”

But the door swished opened before Jaal could leave, Ryder didn’t need to look to know it was Lexi. Orange lights ran over her. And Lexi sighed. The sound didn’t bode well. 

“SAM,” Ryder called out in the confines of her mind. With the tube down her throat there weren’t many means of communication. “Can you relay my words to them?”

“Yes, Ryder,” SAM replied. “I’m working to keep you calm, but it will help if let me know if it gets too much.”

“Will do,” she replied. Her gaze cut over to Lexi. “Report.”

She could hear SAM’s voice coming through the comms, speaking on her behalf. 

Lexi approached. The worry lines between her brow were deep and tight. “You’ve been poisoned.”

Poisoned. The word echoed in her mind. _Why? Who? What? How?_ Questions swirled in her mind and her panic rose again. 

“Ryder, please keep calm,” SAM spoke via their private channel. 

His voice broke through the rising tides of dread. And she squeezed her eyes shut again and counted down from ten, listening to her pulse slow once more. 

“Is there an antidote?”

Lexi shook her head. “It’s a toxin I’ve never seen before. It’s not a Milky Way poison. It’s something local.”

Jaal sighed heavily, frustration running across every line of his body. This was apparently not a new topic. They had already the discussion while she was sedated. “I can attempt to analyse the poison if I have the source,” SAM said. “But based on your symptoms, it can be any number of things.”

Ryder grimaced at the admission and tightened her grip on Jaal’s hand, trying to will her love through the skin on skin contact between them. 

“Did you come into contact with any foreign material during your mission? Or experienced a suit breach?” Lexi asked.

“No,” Ryder replied. And SAM elaborated, “I’ve detected no suit breaches during the mission. And Ryder is in good health when she returned to the Tempest before heading to Kralla’s Song.”

Lexi rubbed her temples. “What about ingesting? Did you drink or eat anything odd?”

Ryder frowning, her memory was still hazy. And even now she could feel the tug from the sedatives. 

“I know it’s hard to remember, but it will help us to narrow down what’s wrong,” Lexi said. “If you need me to, I’ll dial the sedative down.”

Ryder shook her head, fearing her own reactions, and racked her brains instead. It’s something concrete, something she could do. Other than the various pints of beer that was sent her way, she hadn’t drank anything else. All of which, Jaal had drank too. “Maybe it was something that just affected humans?” she suggested. 

Lexi frowned. “Whatever it is, it has affected your kidneys and lungs. I’ve been monitoring your urine output, it has dropped significantly. And you’re already experiencing difficulty in breathing.”

Ryder would have sighed if she could, instead she settled for trying to remember. It was like walking through the thick jungle of Havarl without an omni-blade to hack her way through. Then, something struck her mind. 

“I did… I drank something before I left from an asari…”

Lexi frowned. “That could be it. Is that the only thing Jaal didn’t drink as well?”

Ryder nodded. Jaal hoped into action, giving her a tight squeeze and bolting out. She could guess where he was off to. Probably off to set the others on the task to hunt down the asari and the source of her problem. 

“Anyone else sick?”

Lexi shook her head. “Just you.”

She sighed and rubbed her forehead. “I should be happy they didn’t decide to poison everyone else in Kralla’s Song.”

“Small mercies,” Lexi snorted. 

“How long?” 

The question hung in the air as the asari averted her eyes, pretending to be busy fiddling with the IV bag and checking on the urinary drainage bag hanging at the side of the bed. 

“How long?” Ryder repeated. 

Lexi held her gaze when there was no delaying her answer. “Not long,” she admitted. “Days, a week before your kidneys fail for good and you’ll need a transplant. But it will spread. It’s not looking good.”

She squeezed her eyes shut and started counting down again. 

* * *

Time went by in a blur. Ryder was aware of the passage of time as she drifted in and out of drugged aided sleep. The sedatives ebbed and flowed as much as the air being delivered to her lungs. Jaal was there and not and back again. The crease between his brow deepened with each time. His bio-electricity spiked with anger and suppressed rage. 

Sometimes Cora was there, other times Scott, and the others came and went. She acknowledged each brush against her arm, the real one because Lexi had detached the prothesis in their initial attempt to rule out something corroding in it that was leaching into her body. She grunted as the information drifted across her mind. They spoke to her when they were near. But her mind retained none of it as the sedatives chemically erased her fear and anxiety. 

* * *

“This is Kadara!” Jaal barked. 

Ryder’s eyes snapped open at the bark of his voice, his bio-electricity running up her residual limb. She grunted, but neither Jaal or the person he was speaking to realise she was awake. 

“We can serve her Kadara justice,” he went on. 

Silence greeted his statement, Ryder could feel his anger trembling over his skin, as words spewed from between clenched teeth. 

_The anger of a gentle person is a fearsome thing._

But at the same time, it made her chest ached. Jaal was a gentle soul, forced by his times to stand as a soldier, to fight and kill kin and foe. And now what he was proposing was an execution. She’d put good credits down they had found the poisoner. 

Summoning her strength, she said, “SAM could you let Lexi know to ease off on the sedatives?”

“Will do, Ryder.”

There was a creak as a weight eased off a piece of furniture. “If you’re going to argue about it, I’ll appreciate it if you take it out of the med-bay. You’re disturbing Ryder’s rest. She doesn’t need this,” Lexi snapped, her voice fraying with impatience. 

Someone sighed. It was a familiar one. Cora, Ryder guessed. “Jaal, we’ll speak about it later.”

“But—” Jaal grumbled, half rising from his seat next to her but at the same time tightening his grip on her arm. 

“Unless you want to leave her side now?” Ryder could almost hear the arched eyebrow Cora must be levelling on him. 

“No.”

The door swished opened and closed, taking Cora out of the med-bay. Lexi huffed and ignored Jaal as she fiddled with the controls on her IV. “We’re en route to Voeld. They have the antidote there. Kallo is breaking all Andromeda speed laws to get you there in time.”

As the drugs receded, Ryder could feel the low hum from the Tempest’s drive core. She nodded. 

Lexi sighed, glancing between Jaal and herself. “I’ll tell you to take it easy but I know you won’t. Just call me if it gets too uncomfortable. We’ll get to Voeld in five hours.” 

Turning to Jaal who was brushing the hair from her face, Lexi instructed, “Do not overtax her.”

He nodded mutedly. And Lexi felt them alone. Ryder blinked rapidly to clear her gunked-up eyes. Jaal wiped them with a piece of cloth. 

“Hey,” he greeted, his voice raspy from lack of sleep. 

She reached out with her right hand towards his face, he leaned into it, turning his lips to kiss her palm. “You heard everything?”

“SAM?” Ryder called. 

“Go ahead and speak, I’ll transmit your words to Ama Darav’s omni-tool on low volume. Your words will be discrete.”

She sighed, at least she tried to. “Some of it. Enough of it.”

Jaal grimaced. 

“You caught the poisoner then?”

He nodded. “The asari. Nafav and the others found her.”

The sedatives were quickly burnt away by her biotic metabolism. With that, her memory was returning. “The drink tasted funny,” she said. 

The anger was back, spiking along his skin. It made the leap from his hand to her arm. She grunted against it, more surprised than anything else. The pain that crossed Jaal’s face cut Ryder to the core. Guilt, then anger at himself, then a quick shuttering of both emotions behind a wall. They were treading old ground again. 

“Don’t go away, Jaal.”

He shook his head. “I’m not, I’m here,” confusion and panic colouring his words. 

Ryder shook her head, shifting her hand from his face, trying to reach his chest. Supporting herself with her residual limb, she forced her body to rise, almost tipping over. It’s been a while since she went without her prothesis for any amount of time. Jaal reached out and caught her, easing her gently back on the bed. Taking advantage of his closeness, she grabbed his leathers right over where an angara’s heart would be. “You’re going away here, Jaal. Again. Don’t do that.”

He sighed, averting his eyes as a shuddering breath rattled through his frame. When he turned back, his eyes were shining. “I’m scared. What if one of these times, you’re not coming back.”

“I have not gone anywhere. I’m still here. I’ll be up and running circles around you again in a few hours.”

His lips pressed thin and bloodless. “Not funny, Ryder. This is not funny at all.”

“I’ll be freezing my ass off on Voeld while you laugh at me.”

That got a chuckle, and she counted it as a victory. Sinking onto the chair next to the bed, he wrapped his arms around her, gentle but tight. His bio-electricity had mellowed out, easing back into a low hum of worry and anxiety. Those were emotions she could do nothing about, but the anger? She could take the edge of it before they had to have a talk about the things she had overheard. 

* * *

Lexi moved Ryder, ventilator, tubes and all onto the gurney. They took advantage of the cover of night and wheeled her straight into the prepared medical suite. Jaal held her hand as she was eased onto the bed. 

Lexi was conferring with the doctors while an assistant had taken the samples Jaal and the others had retrieved for analysis. It took no time at all before the same assistant returned with results. The angara doctor barked an order, sending the assistant hurrying out again. 

Jaal straightened as Lexi approached. “It’s confirmed. A Fliatom laced drink. They have the antidote.”

He sighed with relief while Ryder frowned, unable to keep up with the new piece of information. “Fliatom is one of the native plants on Andromeda. It’s hardy, growing in both extreme heat like Kadara or Elaaden. The thick juicy leaves of the plant are used as a natural insect repellant, herbicide of sorts but when cooked down into a concentrate, it is poisonous.”

“I drank it?”

Lexi nodded. The assistant returned with a machine, along with a couple bags of drugs. “We’ll going to give you the antidote via the IV as we run your blood through the dialysis machine to get the load off your kidneys as the antidote takes affect. We’ll also start you on a strong course of medi-gel treatments for the throat and lungs.”

Ryder nodded while the doctors bustled about. More needles pushed into her skin, more machines were hooked up onto her. But this was the first time she felt relief as the antidote coursed through her veins. Her throat was no longer so raw, her heart wasn’t labouring so hard, the ache in her chest eased. As she dozed, Jaal remained by her side, drawing circles over her arm, pressing his lips against her knuckles. 

It was days later the infernal breathing tube was removed and Ryder was well enough to move around the room and take meals like a normal person. Blue dancing across her skin, she pulled at her core, relieved to find everything was right where it always had been. The door swished opened and Cora entered. 

“Jaal’s not here?”

She shook her head. “I made him go share a meal with the people on base.”

Cora nodded.

“Would you mind locking the door, Lexi says I can stop wearing these horrible medical gowns. I’m not going to spend an extra second wearing them.”

The holo-lock turned red and Ryder stripped out of the medical gown, letting it fall on the floor unceremoniously before pulling on a simple pair of Initiative sweat pants and hoodie. 

“How are you feeling?” Cora asked, settling down into a chair. 

They had shared the communal shower on the Tempest enough times to not feel awkward about this. Ryder bent to pick up the discarded medical gown, folding it to leave it on the counter. “Better, much fucking better.”

Cora snorted. “That’s probably putting it mildly.”

“I know right?” Ryder leaned against the bed, unwilling to back into it despite feeling a little tired. “How are the others?”

“Shaken but mostly ok. They know how accident prone you are.”

“Hey,” she protested. “This isn’t my fault. I was poisoned.”

At that Cora grimaced, looking away as she bit her lip. “About that…”

She raised an eyebrow. “The prisoner?”

Cora nodded. “Speak to Jaal. Torshen and the others are still holding her on Kadara till you give the word. Slonae is eager not to have this turn into a big thing as much as it can be after a Pathfinder is poisoned.”

Ryder sighed. “I will.”

The door swished opened and Jaal’s voice drifted in from the outside. “Ryder I’ve brought back some of that cracker you like so much.” He faltered as he entered to find both women looking at him. Blinking owlishly, he asked, “Is there something on my face?”

Cora shook her head. She squeezed his shoulder on her way out. “Your face is fine.” She turned to Ryder. “I’m glad you’re better. I’ll leave you two alone.”

As soon as the door closed, Jaal looked at her apprehensively before sighing. “We have to talk don’t we?”

Ryder nodded, easing her weight onto the bed and shifting over to make room for Jaal. He joined her on the bed. She placed her prothesis on his thigh, marvelling how she could feel all the dips and bumps running along his leather armour through it. Taking a deep breath, she marshalled herself. “Do you still want Kadara justice for the poisoner?”

Jaal stiffened under her hand, the cracker he was about to hand to her crack into two pieces under his grip. She took one of the pieces from him and pretended that was what he intended. 

“Yes,” the admission came out harsh and angry. “She should face Kadara justice for the crime she had committed on Kadara. You shouldn’t have to deal with the remnants of Vidal’s people anymore.”

“Then,” she took a bite and chewed deliberately, trying to keep all judgement out of her voice. “Do you propose we hand her over to Sloane?”

“No.” 

“Then, Mayor Tate? Since he is in charge of Ditaeon.”

“No,” his voice softer now. 

“So you mean we should just to execute her then?”

Jaal sighed, leaning his head on her shoulder as she took the second piece from him since he wasn’t eating it. She allowed the silence to grow uncomfortable as she ate the cracker slowly. 

“I was scared,” he admitted, his hand seeking hers to clutch. “I was angry.”

“I know. I’m sorry to put you through this,” Ryder said, shifting to cup his face. “But we have to be better than this. We can’t expect to lead others if we bend the rules, break the law just for our sakes.”

Jaal sighed, “I know. I’ll tell Torshen we’ll send her to the Nexus to face trial.”

He shifted and Ryder wrapped her arms around him to accommodate. As she pressed her lips against his forehead, “Why don’t you take a nap? You must be exhausted.”

“I am,” Jaal confessed, his eyelids sagging shut. “I don’t how you do this over and over again. To show mercy…”

“Throwing someone at the justice system isn’t mercy, it’s just… right I guess. And deep down, I know you knew what was right. You were just scared and angry as will I if things were different.”

Jaal sighed, this time a sound of content and relaxation even as he squeezed her fingers. “Will you be here when I wake up?”

Ryder chuckled. “It will be hard not to.”

Jaal laughed. His deep baritone intertwining with her higher register one. It’s a simple thing, laughing. But it eased the anger, soothed the hurt. It wouldn’t be ok right now but they would be. And they’ll both be fine. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hit me up on my [Tumblr](https://natsora.tumblr.com/). Kudos and comments are always welcomed!


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